***SPOILER WARNING: The reviews and discussion below may ruin the entire movie for you. Proceed only if you’re okay with knowing the entire plot.

Michelle’s Review: 5/5

JD messaged me to say that he was going to a later viewing of “M3GAN,” and I told him I happened to be going with a group already. He got there just in time to seize the last spot in a sold out theater, right beside our friends. It was fate. As the end credits rolled and the lights came up, I immediately yelled down the row, “Don’t tell me how you feel about it! This has to go on the blog!” Based on how much we verbally reacted to various parts, I knew we’d have a lot to say.

It has now been two days since I saw “M3GAN,” and I have been unable to convince a single friend that they should see it. They are in total disbelief that a film about a childlike android who does TikTok dances and murders people could possibly be good. To me, TikTok plus murder sounds like the perfect combination, but I can understand their resistance.

A lot of their hesitation comes from the trailer. It didn’t do a great job of setting up the tone of the film. Were we about to get a serious attempt at a horror film about a doll, much like James Wan’s previous work with “Annabelle,” or was this about to be a “so bad it’s good” situation where we’d be laughing AT the film, not WITH it?

I’m happy to report, dear reader, that it was neither of those. “M3GAN” was a truly, truly good comedy film.

“M3GAN” is one I will recommend to those who are fairly new to horror and want to test the waters. It’s fun enough that everyone can enjoy it, but it’s tame enough that it can be a good stepping stone for those who want to get into horror. The jump scares are minimal, and the body count is kept fairly low. The tense moments are sandwiched between comedic ones, so viewers can enjoy a nice palette-cleansing laugh before they’ve had an opportunity to get too scared. Outside of our group, the people in the theater were fairly young, and I hope a few more horror fans were born. While a packed theater full of talkative teens would usually be my worst nightmare, being surrounded by people laughing gleefully and applauding at all the right moments really added something special to it.

At no point does this movie want to terrify you. It aims instead to delight, and it succeeds. There are plenty of things to make you feel uncomfortable, but those moments are mostly in uncanny valley territory. M3GAN just looks wrong. She has an extremely expressive yet completely unreadable face. She is a creepy little non-child, but she’s nothing that will give viewers recurring nightmares. If anything, she’s kind of like a blonde child-sized doll version of Jenna Ortega’s Wednesday Addams. (Typed out, I can see the horror in that.)

While the illusion is pretty solid, at some point, a switch in my brain flicked on and I started trying to spot points where it’s clear that a human being is wearing the M3GAN costume. IMDB confirmed my suspicions. M3GAN has two credits: Jenna Davis as “M3GAN (voice)” and Amie Donald as “M3GAN.” Somewhere behind that latex mask and dead eyes, a human child lurked, and her name is Amie Donald. M3GAN is creepy, but it’s far creepier that someone wanted to willingly wear and become her. Amie Donald is the one we should actually fear.

Earlier today, JD put out a status about how confused he is that people took “M3GAN” seriously, and I need him to know this feeling is exactly how I felt when “Malignant” came out last year. I had a giddy good time with “Malignant,” and the reveal at the end made me clap and laugh gleefully. I thought it was deliciously and deliberately campy, and I was surprised when others told me it was an awful horror film. I feel more comfortable now deeming “Malignant” as an intentional B-movie instead of a terrible flop from an otherwise successful director, and I am even more solidified as a “Malignant” defender. This is a hill I will die on.

I’m not going to get into the plot. It’s a child-sized doll, and it’s creepy. You already know she’s going to become evil. All dolls do. It’s their destiny.

My rating is based entirely on how much fun I had watching this movie. 5 out of 5-skulls

Michelle’s prediction for JD’s rating: 4/5

It was weird but deliberately so, and he appreciates that.

JD’s Review: 4.5/5

I have spent the better part of the last twenty-four hours trying to put my thoughts about “M3GAN” in some sort of order, make some sort of sense of it, but it has proven to be a nearly impossible feat. I can tell you that I expected to hate this movie. I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed anything with James Wan’s name attached. And while Blumhouse has certainly had its share of surprises (looking at you, “Happy Death Day”), I had no faith in this one at all. But I’ll be damned if this wasn’t the most fun I’ve had in a movie theater in a long time.

Let me be very clear here; this movie, to put it as nicely as possible, is exceedingly silly. But silly is not, in itself, a bad thing. In this case, everyone involved seemed to understand the inherent goofiness of what they were doing, and they all committed to it, leaned into it. Where a movie like “Malignant” felt to me like it didn’t believe there was anything silly about it, “M3GAN” has self-awareness seeping out of every frame, and plays it perfectly. It is the Anti-Malignant.

I didn’t know until after I’d seen it that this was directed by Gerard Johnstone, who gave us a delightful spin on the haunted house tale with 2014’s “Housebound”, and I’d have been less apprehensive had I known. Because this was scripted by Akela Cooper, who also scripted “Malignant” (with both stories credited to Wan), I have to believe most of the difference between my opinions of these two films is rooted in Johnstone, but the cast is great, too. Alison Williams and Violet McGraw bring an air of seriousness that functions perfectly to set us up for the assorted buffoonery of the supporting cast.

And then there’s that gottdang robot girl, an amalgamation of at least three peoples’ performances and extensive special effects. Sorry, Chucky. Your day is done. There’s a new psycho doll on the top shelf, and it damn sure ain’t a Good Guy. There are things that are done with this character that are some of the most sublime moments of delightful absurdity I’ve ever seen put to screen. One particular element, which happens three times in the film (so I know they absolutely meant it to be funny), gave me the purest of belly laughs every single time.

Now, I know I’m not the only one who loved this movie, but I also know there are people out there who felt this movie has some quality satire, poignant drama, and genuine horror. I’m not saying they’re wrong – again, everyone involved here was fully committed. I was just having too much flippin’ fun the entire time to notice. It has certainly earned at least one more watch from me, but I strongly suggest you see this for the first time in the busiest theater you can handle.

Because I’m not sure how much replay value this one will have for me, or how it will play at home alone, I can’t go any higher than 4.5 Skulls, but it’s every bit of that for a one-time packed-house watch.

JD’s prediction for Michelle’s rating: 4.5/5

On account of how we happened to see this one in the theater together, I’m putting Michelle on 4.5 Skulls as well.